Passages

"Describe it." She said.
"Describe what?"
"Describe to me how you feel."
"I dont think you really want to know."
"Yes, I do. I want to know what its like."
"Its like....its like a dot in your vision. Just a little tiny dot, barely noticable but always there. During the day its easier to ignore, to look around it because there are so many other things to distract you. But at night, when you cant distinguish the dot from the darkness- when your entirely alone, that is when it gets hard. All you want to do is be able to see clearly, to live clearly, but you cant. And at night when you cry yourself to sleep because your drowning in it; when your trying to swim up and see the light. It is at that moment you get that feeling. The feeling of what it feels like to be entirely alone with yourself and hate yourself for what you feel. That is what its like."